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KATHERINE BRANDON
Gina's Alter Ego
Gina's Alter Ego
All I Need to Know About Writing Romance,
I Learned in Elementary School
by
Gina Ardito
I Learned in Elementary School
by
Gina Ardito
Okay, so I never went to college; I never even took a creative writing course. When I tell people I write by
the seat of my pants, it's no exaggeration. Because of that, it will probably take me longer to become a
published author than those who have had formal training in the field. But I firmly believe I will succeed
because I learned the rules of the romance writing business a long time ago-as a child actually. And I'll
bet you did, too. Whether it was sitting in the classroom or playing with the other children at recess, the
skills and knowledge I would need to master the business of romance writing were acquired on the
hallowed grounds of Deauville Gardens Elementary School…
The classroom
It all started in kindergarten. The Wednesday after Labor Day in 19--, I attended my very first day of school wearing pigtails, a purple floral dress, and saddle shoes with white socks. My brain was eager to be filled with all the lessons the world had to offer as I sat in the chair with the rectangular desk attached to it-fourth row, third seat. Soon, I began acquiring the building blocks that would take me through my entire educational program. Some of those lessons pertain to romance writing as well. Are any of these familiar to you?
Practice makes perfect. Remember when you first learned your ABC's? Twenty-six letters. Wow, I didn't think I'd ever be able to recognize every one of them. Still, in Mrs. Palmer's class, we wrote them over and over, shaky at first, but with more confidence as time went by. We sang songs about them, cut pictures from magazines and glued them onto collages, and planned our days around them. Within no time, I knew them all. And not only did I know them, I learned how to string them together into real words!
It's the same with the rules of writing. Point of view; misplaced modifiers; goal, motivation and conflict; dangling participles; independent clauses; punctuation. It's all pretty daunting to the newbie writer. But every one of us has learned to master the mechanics-how? By practicing, writing every chance we get, eating, drinking, and sleeping the writing process, sharing our work and experience with other writers. The only difference is, now we call it, "honing our craft."
Spelling and neatness count. How often have we heard about the editor who automatically rejects any query that has her name misspelled on the address line? Or the agent who despises typos in the first three chapters because it shows the writer didn't take the time to proofread? And really, can you blame them? If you don't care to send out your very best work, why should they care to represent you?
Mind your manners. Ah, yes, the very first anecdote that comes to mind here is the wanna-be writer who slipped her manuscript under the bathroom stall to get an editor's attention. Some in the writing community dismiss this as urban legend, others swear it really happened. Regardless, would you look twice at a work that was delivered to you in this bizarre fashion? Would you buy a car from the salesman who slipped a set of keys under the stall and insisted you take a test drive just as soon as you pulled up your pants? 'Nuff said.
Do your homework. Whether you write historicals set in ancient Rome or contemporaries set in a Wall Street boardroom, research is a writer's best friend and nemesis at the same time. It's a necessary evil. Trust me, if your hero ties the wrong knot in his toga or invests in the wrong currency market in Ecuador, there'll be a reader out there who knows it. Learn how to find the information you need and don't ever think you can slide by with a little bluffing. If Mrs. Kellogg could see through the con jobs in your essays, you can bet Ms. Regular Romance Reader will see through it in your novels, too!
If you don't understand something, ask. Romance writers are the most supportive, generous people in any career field. And thanks to the Internet and hundreds of listserves available at the click of a mouse, if you need help, you can find it in no time. For an obscure example, you could pose the question, "What did the caveman wear when his only outfit was in the laundry?" I guarantee someone somewhere in the world who writes Neanderthal romances will have an answer for you within twenty-four hours. Want to know about a specific agent or editor? Post a question on one of the numerous links available. You'll get everything but their hat size!
Finish your assignments on time. Whether it's completing that very first manuscript or meeting the editor's deadline on the twentieth novel, it's easy to let self-doubt, personal issues, and outsiders distract us from our objectives. Here's to finding the discipline to finish what we start, a lesson we learned when writing that first book report or essay over winter vacation.
Show and tell. Okay, so those two words don't mean the same now as they did in kindergarten. But then again, maybe they do. During those intervals in elementary school, you brought in something from home that was unusual or special. And when you were called upon to do so, you'd "show" the class your item and "tell" them all about it. In the writing world, we "show" our readers the emotions and histories of our characters through their unusual or special actions, and when we're called upon to do so, "tell" them what the characters are thinking.
No matter how hard you try, not everyone will like you. If you can survive that humiliating moment when you were routinely the last kid chosen for basketball during gym class, a rejection letter is a walk in the park! At least that pain is private. And as adults, we can drive to the store for the chocolate that always soothes our agony.
If at first you don't succeed…It's trite, but true. So you got that dreaded "R" letter I mentioned earlier, you stocked up on Hershey's Kisses and Peanut Butter Cups. Now what? Why, you send the manuscript out again, of course! How many times have we heard the story about the best-selling author who received forty-six rejections on the same work until finally someone had the brains to pick it up, and the rest is history? Deep down, we all believe it will happen for us in the exact same way. So we don't give up. We keep trying. We revise, resubmit and replay the waiting game. (It's our own version of the three "R's.")
Not all our lessons were learned in the classroom, however. To find the perfect characters to fill the pages of our romances, we must look outside the classroom. Recess time, everyone. Let's head to the playground!
The playground
The classroom might have been the perfect place to learn about the craft of writing, but it was on the playground that I learned how to draft the very best characters for my stories. Face it. There are certain traits that our heroes and heroines must have, even if they lie buried beneath the surface until the last few pages of the story. These same traits were developed and nurtured while we hung from the monkey bars, or jumped rope, or pushed each other on the swings. See if any of these ring a bell with you…
Always solve conflicts peaceably. Don't hit one another, don't call each other names, and don't drag friends into the mess. Find a compromise. We expect nothing less from our heroes and heroines.
Respect the rights and property of others. Learn to share. Heroes and heroines are never greedy and always maintain a sense of honor. Even if your hero is a cat burglar, he doesn't pursue this career out of malice or a sense of lawlessness; there's a hidden reason, perfectly respectable of course, for his illegal course of action. And it's the heroine's responsibility to make him see the error of his ways and guide him back to the straight and narrow before you type, "The End." Or vice-versa if your heroine is the one with the crooked past.
"Different" doesn't necessarily mean better or worse. It just means different. In the romance genre, this falls into the category of, "opposites attract." Over the course of the story, our characters learn to appreciate the qualities that make their significant other unique. They must embrace the disparities of their own backgrounds and accept their mate for who they truly are before they can find their Happily Ever After.
Not every win comes easily. Ah, the games of our youth. Football, soccer, field hockey, even dodgeball. They all had two things in common: goals and obstacles. Heroes and heroines always have the motivation to achieve their goals, but they must overcome obstacles, in the form of internal and external conflicts, to succeed at the game of love.
Traditional heroes are still the best. Cowboys, policemen, firemen. <sigh!> Need I say more? The dashing heroes of our make believe fantasies translate perfectly onto the pages of our romance novels.
Working together as a team creates the best results. The gym teacher might tell you to bunt as a "sacrifice" to the runner on first. Or after years of dreaming of being a starter for the basketball team, you accept a position as second string. Heroes and heroines are teamplayers, never afraid to sacrifice for the good of others.
Good guys always get the girl. Yes, yes, I know. In high school, females tend to gravitate towards the "bad boy." But in those first early years of social interaction in elementary school, we discover something that's temporarily forgotten in the later rebellious days of puberty. Good guys are the ones who'll stick around. They don't mind playing house, so long as you're willing to do the "yucky jobs," like changing the pretend baby's diaper and washing the make believe dishes.
Happily, most of us revert back to Prince Charming a.k.a. the good guy when we begin thinking less about how to annoy our parents and more about what we want for ourselves in married life. Face it. We love dark, dangerous, tortured heroes, but they must never be petty, cruel or offensive. Ditto the heroine. And by the end of the story, with the heroine's influence, the hero's sharp edges should have softened so that admitting love doesn't threaten his masculinity.
There are also many habits from childhood that we leave behind in the sandbox and on the seesaw. When was the last time you giggled when your man made that disgusting sound with his hand in his armpit? How long has it been since you knew someone liked you because he teased you or pulled your hair? This, too, is a lesson for our characterizations. Because, after all, if our characters don't mature through the process of falling in love, they don't deserve to fall in love.
So there you have it. If you recognize any of these skills from your own days in elementary school, think about the teachers and the classmates who instilled them in you. Maybe send a thank you note to one who really stands out. And think about the teachers who are now instilling this special wisdom on the romance writers of the future. What wonderful stories can we look forward to from these new generations? Who knows? But I'll bet they'll all have some basis in the lessons of life they're learning in a classroom right now.
The classroom
It all started in kindergarten. The Wednesday after Labor Day in 19--, I attended my very first day of school wearing pigtails, a purple floral dress, and saddle shoes with white socks. My brain was eager to be filled with all the lessons the world had to offer as I sat in the chair with the rectangular desk attached to it-fourth row, third seat. Soon, I began acquiring the building blocks that would take me through my entire educational program. Some of those lessons pertain to romance writing as well. Are any of these familiar to you?
Practice makes perfect. Remember when you first learned your ABC's? Twenty-six letters. Wow, I didn't think I'd ever be able to recognize every one of them. Still, in Mrs. Palmer's class, we wrote them over and over, shaky at first, but with more confidence as time went by. We sang songs about them, cut pictures from magazines and glued them onto collages, and planned our days around them. Within no time, I knew them all. And not only did I know them, I learned how to string them together into real words!
It's the same with the rules of writing. Point of view; misplaced modifiers; goal, motivation and conflict; dangling participles; independent clauses; punctuation. It's all pretty daunting to the newbie writer. But every one of us has learned to master the mechanics-how? By practicing, writing every chance we get, eating, drinking, and sleeping the writing process, sharing our work and experience with other writers. The only difference is, now we call it, "honing our craft."
Spelling and neatness count. How often have we heard about the editor who automatically rejects any query that has her name misspelled on the address line? Or the agent who despises typos in the first three chapters because it shows the writer didn't take the time to proofread? And really, can you blame them? If you don't care to send out your very best work, why should they care to represent you?
Mind your manners. Ah, yes, the very first anecdote that comes to mind here is the wanna-be writer who slipped her manuscript under the bathroom stall to get an editor's attention. Some in the writing community dismiss this as urban legend, others swear it really happened. Regardless, would you look twice at a work that was delivered to you in this bizarre fashion? Would you buy a car from the salesman who slipped a set of keys under the stall and insisted you take a test drive just as soon as you pulled up your pants? 'Nuff said.
Do your homework. Whether you write historicals set in ancient Rome or contemporaries set in a Wall Street boardroom, research is a writer's best friend and nemesis at the same time. It's a necessary evil. Trust me, if your hero ties the wrong knot in his toga or invests in the wrong currency market in Ecuador, there'll be a reader out there who knows it. Learn how to find the information you need and don't ever think you can slide by with a little bluffing. If Mrs. Kellogg could see through the con jobs in your essays, you can bet Ms. Regular Romance Reader will see through it in your novels, too!
If you don't understand something, ask. Romance writers are the most supportive, generous people in any career field. And thanks to the Internet and hundreds of listserves available at the click of a mouse, if you need help, you can find it in no time. For an obscure example, you could pose the question, "What did the caveman wear when his only outfit was in the laundry?" I guarantee someone somewhere in the world who writes Neanderthal romances will have an answer for you within twenty-four hours. Want to know about a specific agent or editor? Post a question on one of the numerous links available. You'll get everything but their hat size!
Finish your assignments on time. Whether it's completing that very first manuscript or meeting the editor's deadline on the twentieth novel, it's easy to let self-doubt, personal issues, and outsiders distract us from our objectives. Here's to finding the discipline to finish what we start, a lesson we learned when writing that first book report or essay over winter vacation.
Show and tell. Okay, so those two words don't mean the same now as they did in kindergarten. But then again, maybe they do. During those intervals in elementary school, you brought in something from home that was unusual or special. And when you were called upon to do so, you'd "show" the class your item and "tell" them all about it. In the writing world, we "show" our readers the emotions and histories of our characters through their unusual or special actions, and when we're called upon to do so, "tell" them what the characters are thinking.
No matter how hard you try, not everyone will like you. If you can survive that humiliating moment when you were routinely the last kid chosen for basketball during gym class, a rejection letter is a walk in the park! At least that pain is private. And as adults, we can drive to the store for the chocolate that always soothes our agony.
If at first you don't succeed…It's trite, but true. So you got that dreaded "R" letter I mentioned earlier, you stocked up on Hershey's Kisses and Peanut Butter Cups. Now what? Why, you send the manuscript out again, of course! How many times have we heard the story about the best-selling author who received forty-six rejections on the same work until finally someone had the brains to pick it up, and the rest is history? Deep down, we all believe it will happen for us in the exact same way. So we don't give up. We keep trying. We revise, resubmit and replay the waiting game. (It's our own version of the three "R's.")
Not all our lessons were learned in the classroom, however. To find the perfect characters to fill the pages of our romances, we must look outside the classroom. Recess time, everyone. Let's head to the playground!
The playground
The classroom might have been the perfect place to learn about the craft of writing, but it was on the playground that I learned how to draft the very best characters for my stories. Face it. There are certain traits that our heroes and heroines must have, even if they lie buried beneath the surface until the last few pages of the story. These same traits were developed and nurtured while we hung from the monkey bars, or jumped rope, or pushed each other on the swings. See if any of these ring a bell with you…
Always solve conflicts peaceably. Don't hit one another, don't call each other names, and don't drag friends into the mess. Find a compromise. We expect nothing less from our heroes and heroines.
Respect the rights and property of others. Learn to share. Heroes and heroines are never greedy and always maintain a sense of honor. Even if your hero is a cat burglar, he doesn't pursue this career out of malice or a sense of lawlessness; there's a hidden reason, perfectly respectable of course, for his illegal course of action. And it's the heroine's responsibility to make him see the error of his ways and guide him back to the straight and narrow before you type, "The End." Or vice-versa if your heroine is the one with the crooked past.
"Different" doesn't necessarily mean better or worse. It just means different. In the romance genre, this falls into the category of, "opposites attract." Over the course of the story, our characters learn to appreciate the qualities that make their significant other unique. They must embrace the disparities of their own backgrounds and accept their mate for who they truly are before they can find their Happily Ever After.
Not every win comes easily. Ah, the games of our youth. Football, soccer, field hockey, even dodgeball. They all had two things in common: goals and obstacles. Heroes and heroines always have the motivation to achieve their goals, but they must overcome obstacles, in the form of internal and external conflicts, to succeed at the game of love.
Traditional heroes are still the best. Cowboys, policemen, firemen. <sigh!> Need I say more? The dashing heroes of our make believe fantasies translate perfectly onto the pages of our romance novels.
Working together as a team creates the best results. The gym teacher might tell you to bunt as a "sacrifice" to the runner on first. Or after years of dreaming of being a starter for the basketball team, you accept a position as second string. Heroes and heroines are teamplayers, never afraid to sacrifice for the good of others.
Good guys always get the girl. Yes, yes, I know. In high school, females tend to gravitate towards the "bad boy." But in those first early years of social interaction in elementary school, we discover something that's temporarily forgotten in the later rebellious days of puberty. Good guys are the ones who'll stick around. They don't mind playing house, so long as you're willing to do the "yucky jobs," like changing the pretend baby's diaper and washing the make believe dishes.
Happily, most of us revert back to Prince Charming a.k.a. the good guy when we begin thinking less about how to annoy our parents and more about what we want for ourselves in married life. Face it. We love dark, dangerous, tortured heroes, but they must never be petty, cruel or offensive. Ditto the heroine. And by the end of the story, with the heroine's influence, the hero's sharp edges should have softened so that admitting love doesn't threaten his masculinity.
There are also many habits from childhood that we leave behind in the sandbox and on the seesaw. When was the last time you giggled when your man made that disgusting sound with his hand in his armpit? How long has it been since you knew someone liked you because he teased you or pulled your hair? This, too, is a lesson for our characterizations. Because, after all, if our characters don't mature through the process of falling in love, they don't deserve to fall in love.
So there you have it. If you recognize any of these skills from your own days in elementary school, think about the teachers and the classmates who instilled them in you. Maybe send a thank you note to one who really stands out. And think about the teachers who are now instilling this special wisdom on the romance writers of the future. What wonderful stories can we look forward to from these new generations? Who knows? But I'll bet they'll all have some basis in the lessons of life they're learning in a classroom right now.